I’m Paris Hilton and I approve this message.

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Yeah…Paris Hilton isn’t exactly the smartest person around, and is quite frankly kinda annoying, but I applaud her for sticking it to McCain for using her in his campaign ad against Obama. Even though her parents had donated to the McCain campaign.

I get the feeling I’m going to get tired of the election(s) in the next few months…

I'm Paris Hilton and I approve this message.

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Yeah…Paris Hilton isn’t exactly the smartest person around, and is quite frankly kinda annoying, but I applaud her for sticking it to McCain for using her in his campaign ad against Obama. Even though her parents had donated to the McCain campaign.

I get the feeling I’m going to get tired of the election(s) in the next few months…

1450 miles and 30.9 mpg…w00t!

So, Brooke and I went on vacation this past week…if you wanna check out some pictures, by all means do so… In summary, we went to the Great Smoky Mountain National Park for 3 nights of camping, and then checked out Memphis, TN to visit Beale Street and then the Dave Matthews Band concert for Saturday night.

A few highlights:

1). Pigeon Forge is an interesting place. Imagine Branson, MO…but 4x longer and with a pancake shop in every other building on that stretch. It’s rather ridiculous. The worst part is that nearly every one had a full parking lot at most times of the day (especially breakfast, of course). Gatlinburg wasn’t much better, but it at least had that “Alpine Village” vibe going for it…

2). The camping was pretty nice. The first night was a bit warm, but the next two were much cooler. It only rained up on Clingman’s Dome (very foggy up there…you can see in the pictures!), and then it stormed the last night we were there. So yeah, the weather was pretty reasonable for late-July!

3). Brooke didn’t get attacked by any bears. She was rather disappointed.

4). Memphis was pretty fun, for the most part. We spent the first night out on Beale Street, which is about as close to Bourbon Street as you’re gonna get north of New Orleans (i.e. no open container law, smelled terrible, open late, etc.). We saw some excellent music and had excellent food at Rum Boogie, had some good BBQ ribs at Blues City Cafe, and walked around downtown quite a bit.

5). Graceland charges $27 to visit the mansion. Per person. And they charge for parking. It goes up from there to $32 for the “platinum tour,” and something in the $60 range to see everything. We were content with just driving by… 😛

6). We saw Dave Matthews Band at Autozone Park, which is where the Memphis Redbirds (Cardinal’s farm team) play. We got to stand right in front of the stage on the field, so it was the absolute closest we’ve ever been to a concert for Dave (I’ve been to 5 now, I think?). The set list was arguably the best I’ve seen, including many old classics as well as a few new ones – they started at 8:15 and we didn’t make it out of there until 11:00 (long set!). Willie Nelson also opened, which was rather neat! The best part was when Dave and Willie sang “Gravedigger” together, which worked beautifully with Willie’s style of singing. The band also did covers of “Burning Down The House” and “Sledgehammer” (a ‘love song,’ Dave said beforehand). So, overall, the concert was pretty awesome!

7). …except for all the people that were there with us… Since we were on the field, that counted as “general admission,” which meant that we were down there with a lot of crazies. Crazies as in frat boys with their girlfriends (with 2 carat diamonds on their fingers…). Crazies as in “I’m going to spend $65 on a ticket, not pay attention to the band, and instead fling my $8 beer around in the air while I dance poorly, spilling it on my neighbor’s feet.” I mean, I’ve been in general admission sections at amphitheaters many a time where the worst thing around was the distinct smell of marijuana…but at least everyone was a). watching the show, and b). respecting the space of those around them. It was nearly unbearable…but at least the music made up for it (to an extent).

That’s about it! It was a great trip, overall!

Time to get back to work though, I guess…

Pepper Linsenbardt: 1992 – 2008

Mom called today with some rather sad news: our 16-year-old cocker spaniel, Pepper, died today. We got her when I was 11, so needless to say, my family was rather attached to her. She maintained a great deal of energy up until her last few days, I’m told, but was not doing well this morning when Mom went down to wake her. Mom took her into the vet and found that her spleen was twice the size it was a month ago when she was last taken in. Unfortunately, there wasn’t much they could do for her at her age and all parties involved decided it was her time.

(a side-note…the reason they knew what the size of her spleen was a month ago was because, while Mom had her outside, Pepper excitedly decided to jump from a concrete retaining wall over a wood pile down to a concrete patio…because she knew it was time for her dinner! Even though Pepper shook it off and walked in like nothing had happened, she ended up showing some signs of pain weeks later… That dog loved to eat!)

Pepper, Mom and Edie during the move from the old house.

Anyway, Pepper was a force of nature. Most family friends and loved-ones have never met Pepper because she was a pretty protective dog. It took a decent amount of effort to get her used to having Brooke around a few years ago, but to this day, very few of my friends growing up, or Kristen’s (or anyone else…), ever met Pepper.

Pepper and me back in 2006.

Regardless, I know Pepper is happy wherever she is now (even though we know that all dogs go to heaven!) eating carrots and sleeping in the recliner she stole from Dad 15 years ago. It’s going to take a long time for everyone she left behind to get over her loss!

Review: The Dark Knight

Arguably the most anticipated movie of 2008, “The Dark Knight” is the next installment in the Batman “re-boot” that started with 2005’s “Batman Begins.” After the last set of four movies descended into campy ridiculousness (Mr. Freeze, anyone?), “Begins” brought Batman back to his roots with an excellent origin story that brought some great actors, and a great story, back to the franchise.

This is a dark movie, much in the same vein as “Empire Strikes Back” or “Temple of Doom,” where we have the characters established, but the authors/producers feel like it’s time to hurt them a bit. Bruce Wayne is settling into his role at Wayne Enterprises, the criminals are on the run, due in part to efforts by Batman, but also because of Lieutenant Gordon and the new D.A. Harvey Dent. Wayne sees Dent as the “bright light” Gotham needs, as someone that can bring justice and order to the streets without resorting to vigilantism and the wearing of a mask. The entry of the Joker, however, changes things in that he seeks to bring as much chaos to this “new order” as possible. He views the Batman as his equal, as the only person that can fully compliment his destructive capabilities. The Joker even says “you complete me” to Batman during an exchange later on in the film.

I try not to use the word lightly, as it tends to be over-used in movie and video game reviews, but I would describe “The Dark Knight” as a “visceral” experience. I only say this because, unlike many other superhero movies out there, I think I felt the sheer terror of what the Joker represents, and the pain that the protagonist (and the other characters, for that matter) experienced as the movie goes on.

The movie is complete with its usual special effect goodness, is top-rate acting from its strong cast, and a very, very intricate plot-line that ties things up very nicely throughout. There are things that occur earlier in the film that lead on to surprises later on, allowing for a story that, while 155 min. long, keeps you engaged throughout as you want to see what finally happens in the end.

My analysis ends with “The Dark Knight’s” place in the annals of superhero movies. This year alone, another strong movie, “Iron Man,” came out and blew audiences and critics away. Certainly, there are two other franchises (“Spider-man” and “X-men“) where, by most accounts, the second movie in the franchise is where their respective trilogies peaked. I think, in my opinion, the jump in quality between “Batman Begins” and “The Dark Knight” exceeds that which we saw in “X-men” or “Spider-man.” Both of those two series had much stronger stories than their previous outings, and the characters were established allowing for much more expansive themes to hit upon, but “The Dark Knight” succeeds where those two series didn’t by the “visceral” experience you feel while watching it. You really get the sense of pain that the main characters experience through the investment you have in them. There is genuine surprise in the events that unfold throughout the film, making you want more and more.

It could very well be the greatest superhero movie of all time. Not just because it’s Batman, and certainly not just because Heath Ledger provided his last, great performance. But because it’s just a damned fine movie.

The Happen(ings)

These last two weeks have been crazy busy… Two weeks ago, I had Josh and Sharon’s wedding, and everything that goes with it (bachelor party, rehearsal dinner, wedding day), and then this past weekend, I had Jerry and Missy’s wedding (bachelor party, rehearsal dinner, wedding day). I was a groomsman in the first, an usher in the second…the first was in St. Louis, the second was in Rock Island, IL… So yeah, I just don’t feel like I’ve had much time to sit around and do absolutely nothing for the last two weeks. Thankfully, we don’t have any more weddings until mid-August…which Brooke gets to be involved with, this time!

Anyway, I took pictures of all of this, and they’re linked above for those that are interested…

On another note, Brooke’s camera died a few weeks ago, so we replaced it with a Nikon Coolpix S210. Thus far, we’ve been pretty happy with it, and had a great deal of fun playing with the “fireworks setting” that keeps the shutter open for, like, 3-4 sec. for fireworks pictures. They turned out pretty nicely, so check those out, too!

10 Items That Make You Think You’re Cool, But Don’t…

I wish I could take credit for this, but sadly I can’t… Little Sister Kristen sent this along to me and, she’s right, it’s pretty friggin’ funny…

A few highlights:

#3: Guitar Hero

WHY YOU THINK YOU’RE COOL: Dude, this game totally rocks! I love this song! Hell yes! Welcome to the Jungle, baby! You’re gonna diiiiiiiiiiiee!

WHY YOU’RE NOT COOL: Despite what the commercial says, you do not suddenly turn into Slash when you’re playing this video game. You are playing a child-sized guitar that doesn’t even have strings. It has multi-colored buttons and an on/off button. And playing this video game does not mean you can play the guitar now. If I have to hear someone say “I can totally play ‘Anarchy in the UK’” but actually mean “I can totally play ‘Anarchy in the UK’ on Guitar Hero,” I am going to take a pee inside the nearest PS3.

#1: Funny Ringtones

WHY YOU THINK YOU’RE COOL: A ring tone is a great way to give strangers and coworkers a little peek into your personal life and let them know that your grasp of pop culture is vast. You’re pretty sure that having a silly quote from Monty Python or the Transformers theme song as your ringtone will make those around you realize that you are a the guy everyone else wants to be. There is definitely more to you than meets the eye.

WHY YOU’RE NOT COOL: Having your phone play Right Said Fred’s “I’m Too Sexy” just makes you look (and sound) like an asshole. And the fact that you let it “ring” 15 times while you stand there and look around for reactions to your hilarious little joke not only reeks of desperation, but it makes everyone around you want to cram that phone up your taint. Put it on vibrate like every other normal person and keep your witticisms between you and your collection of Star Wars figurines.

10 Items That Make You Think You're Cool, But Don't…

I wish I could take credit for this, but sadly I can’t… Little Sister Kristen sent this along to me and, she’s right, it’s pretty friggin’ funny…

A few highlights:

#3: Guitar Hero

WHY YOU THINK YOU’RE COOL: Dude, this game totally rocks! I love this song! Hell yes! Welcome to the Jungle, baby! You’re gonna diiiiiiiiiiiee!

WHY YOU’RE NOT COOL: Despite what the commercial says, you do not suddenly turn into Slash when you’re playing this video game. You are playing a child-sized guitar that doesn’t even have strings. It has multi-colored buttons and an on/off button. And playing this video game does not mean you can play the guitar now. If I have to hear someone say “I can totally play ‘Anarchy in the UK’” but actually mean “I can totally play ‘Anarchy in the UK’ on Guitar Hero,” I am going to take a pee inside the nearest PS3.

#1: Funny Ringtones

WHY YOU THINK YOU’RE COOL: A ring tone is a great way to give strangers and coworkers a little peek into your personal life and let them know that your grasp of pop culture is vast. You’re pretty sure that having a silly quote from Monty Python or the Transformers theme song as your ringtone will make those around you realize that you are a the guy everyone else wants to be. There is definitely more to you than meets the eye.

WHY YOU’RE NOT COOL: Having your phone play Right Said Fred’s “I’m Too Sexy” just makes you look (and sound) like an asshole. And the fact that you let it “ring” 15 times while you stand there and look around for reactions to your hilarious little joke not only reeks of desperation, but it makes everyone around you want to cram that phone up your taint. Put it on vibrate like every other normal person and keep your witticisms between you and your collection of Star Wars figurines.

Review: Get Smart

For our anniversary last week, Brooke and I did the “dinner and a movie” thing and went to see “Get Smart.” Let me preface by saying that Mom and Dad didn’t let Kristen and me watch sitcoms back in the mid-90s…as “Seinfeld” and “Married…With Children” weren’t deemed “appropriate.” Thus, we watched a lot of Nick at Nite, back in the golden age when the shows included “Bewitched,” “Dragnet,” “I Dream of Jeannie” and, of course, “Get Smart.” So yeah, I’ve kinda got a fond place in my heart for the characters in that show and was hoping this movie would be handled with the care it deserves, as opposed to other old TV franchise reboots (I’m talking to you, “Dukes of Hazzard” and “Starsky and Hutch“).

So, despite my worst fears, I must say that it was a really fun movie. It’s more of an “origin story,” so we’re learning how Maxwell Smart becomes Agent 86, meets up with Agent 99, etc. Essentially, Smart is an analyst for Control, a secret government organization doing Cold War-style battle with the evil KAOS. Somehow, KAOS gets ahold of the list of undercover Control agents and starts knocking them off, leaving Smart as one of the few agents that can be called into service, as his records are unknown. We then follow 86 and 99 as they traverse the world trying to stop KAOS from getting ahold of nuclear weapons that they can distribute to other terrorist organizations, thus saving the world.

The story itself is relatively predictable, and many of the gags are only truly “funny” if you are familiar with the original show (one with Bill Murray in a cameo as Agent 13, hiding in a tree…), but it still has plenty of hilarious moments for those that don’t remember the show so well. There aren’t that many special effects, but when they’re in there, it isn’t too obvious (i.e. no obvious green screen shots or CGI explosions…). The acting was pretty good, of course, and there were plenty of people I’ve actually heard of playing in the main roles.

Overall, I think it was a pretty good movie. The story was simple, yet entertaining. The gags did not completely rely on knowledge of the old show (yes, the shoephone makes an appearance…), and I was certainly laughing out loud for most of the movie. I think, so far at least, this is the best comedy I’ve seen in 2008 and will have wide appeal for most people this summer.

Review: The Incredible Hulk

Now, I was one of many (or few?) that saw 2003’s “Hulk” in the theater…and I was rather disappointed. We were just getting started with the “super-hero/comic book” craze in films and there were high hopes for this movie, especially because it had a high-profile director in Ang Lee directing it. It was, of course, an origin story where we see Bruce Banner test gamma radiation on himself, leading to his transformation into a large, green monster…but that’s just about all we got. We saw him transform into the Hulk a few times, and he fought some monster dogs…and the military…and, well, I personally got bored. The movie just wasn’t interesting. It had a decent plot to it, but it didn’t have much “movement,” as many would expect in an action film.

Apparently some execs agreed and made this new movie, “The Incredible Hulk,” a reboot of the franchise, with different actors, a different director, and a different direction. This one takes place a few years following the previous outing, where Banner (played by Edward Norton this time) is hiding out in Brazil trying to find a cure for his…”problem.” The US military finally tracks him down and sends a team to apprehend him, only to find out that they’re of little match for the Hulk. One of the military team, played by Tim Roth, decides to work with General Ross to bring down the Hulk once and for all by volunteering himself to take part in “super-soldier serum” research, making him as powerful and nimble as the Hulk is. Of course, as one can imagine, he decides to go a bit too far, goes a bit nuts, and the movie ends as expected…

This movie does everything right that the previous one didn’t. It has many more action scenes, with the Hulk fighting the military in Brazil, on a college campus back in the US and in NYC for the finale. Also, this iteration of the Hulk, an all-CGI effect, is much more convincing than the previous one, likely because of the 5+ years further advancement in CGI technology that movie makers now have to work with. While you could very easily tell that the CGI Hulk in the first movie was computer generated, this one was much more fluid and interacted with the surroundings in a much more convincing way (i.e. it didn’t look like Liv Tyler was standing in front of a green screen having everything else filled in around her…). Finally, the movie seems to have a stronger focus. Where the previous one seemed to focus more on Banner himself and his inner conflicts, this iteration splits between Banner and the Hulk, allowing for that “split personality” to be on the forefront…which is the whole reason people read the Hulk comics for so many years in the first place.

So yeah, it’s a good movie. Is it better than “Iron Man?” Probably not…but this movie does justice to the characters where the previous movie really didn’t…that, and it’s really sweet to see the Hulk throw tanks at helicopters… 😉