Make your own Will Ferrell movie!

Some of you may have already seen this, but I certainly haven’t… It’s the Will Ferrell Movie Generator at Collegehumor.com, and it’s rather sad how true it is… It even gives you an estimate of opening weekend gross and allows you to pitch the idea to your favorite movie studio…

So, I haven’t seen a “Will Ferrell” movie in awhile…no, I didn’t see “Ricky Bobby,” “Anchorman,” and I certainly haven’t seen “Blades of Glory.” While I’m sure all of these are funny, I’m not sure they’re worth my money…mostly because, as this generator illustrates, they stories tend to be somewhat predictable and pointless.

Funny? Yes. Good movie? Only perhaps… Try the generator and make your own instead… 😛

People are stupid…

Now, I get confused sometimes. Like. I see a plane and think it’s a boat. Occasionally, I mistake cows for iguanas…

…but rarely do I mistake beagles for dachshunds

It has happened four times now when walking Edie. Twice to Brooke, twice for me (all of mine this week…). “Look at the wiener dog!” is the usual exclamation… Never “dachshund,” specifically…simply “wiener dog.”

Now, I realize Edie has some brown and black coloring in her. And floppy ears. And, because there’s some bassett hound in her, she’s perhaps slightly longer than your typical beagle. But in no way does she at all resemble a dachshund.

Just wanted to clear that up…

Mallory's First Beer

I’ve been transferring all of the home videos my parents took when we were little from VHS to DVD and came across this once, which is hIlarious (yeah, I meant to capitalize the I). To watch the video, you have to right click on the link and then “Save As” – it won’t just play if you click on the link. Enjoy!
Mallory Video

Edit: The file should work now!!!  Try it again!!!

Mallory’s First Beer

I’ve been transferring all of the home videos my parents took when we were little from VHS to DVD and came across this once, which is hIlarious (yeah, I meant to capitalize the I). To watch the video, you have to right click on the link and then “Save As” – it won’t just play if you click on the link. Enjoy!
Mallory Video

Edit: The file should work now!!!  Try it again!!!

Chekov for Majority Whip!

From tonight’s episode of “The Daily Show”:

“This President has listened to some people, the so-called “Vulcans” in the White House, the ideologues. But you know, unlike the Vulcans of Star Trek who made decisions based on logic and fact, these guys make it based on ideology. These aren’t Vulcans; there are Klingons in the White House…But unlike the real Klingons of Star Trek, these Klingons have never fought a battle of their own. Don’t let faux Klingons send real Americans to war!

— Rep. David Wu, (D) – Oregon

You know, I very much enjoy Star Trek analogies, but seriously…this is the floor of the House of Representatives. Even I wouldn’t try that…and to come from a Democrat, no less…not helping us keep the majority, yo…

For the record, Jon Stewart then followed up the blurb by interviewing Leonard Nimoy (“Spock”) and George Takei (“Sulu”) about it, and it was quite hilarious…

You can watch the video here!

Top 11 signs Dubya thinks he’s president of a college fraternity

From Too Stupid To Be President.com

11. Encourages minions to run three miles in 100 degree heat then taunts them as he rides his bicycle.

10. Greets interns by letting one rip.

9. Refers to everyone only by the nickname he has bestowed.

8. Should have been gone after four years, but he just won’t leave.

7. Amasses enormous institutional debt throwing private parties for his friends.

6. Cheats to secure a second term.

5. Resorts to belligerence rather than admit a mistake.

4. Has summers off.

3. Encourages others to perform community service, but only shows up for the cameras.

2. Smart kid provides him answers using a hidden audio transmitter.

1. May be kicked out of his house before the end of term.

Top 11 signs Dubya thinks he's president of a college fraternity

From Too Stupid To Be President.com

11. Encourages minions to run three miles in 100 degree heat then taunts them as he rides his bicycle.

10. Greets interns by letting one rip.

9. Refers to everyone only by the nickname he has bestowed.

8. Should have been gone after four years, but he just won’t leave.

7. Amasses enormous institutional debt throwing private parties for his friends.

6. Cheats to secure a second term.

5. Resorts to belligerence rather than admit a mistake.

4. Has summers off.

3. Encourages others to perform community service, but only shows up for the cameras.

2. Smart kid provides him answers using a hidden audio transmitter.

1. May be kicked out of his house before the end of term.

Still Here

Yes, I’m still here, I just haven’t had much to say that Andy hasn’t already! Of course, this is from the PHC website:

John the farmer was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers (hens), called “pullets”, and ten roosters, whose job it was to fertilize the eggs (for you city folks). The farmer kept records and any rooster that didn’t perform went into the soup pot and was replaced. That took an awful lot of his time, so he bought a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone so John could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing. Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells.

The farmer’s favorite rooster was old Butch, and a very fine specimen he was, too. But on this particular morning John noticed old Butch’s bell hadn’t rung at all! John went to investigate. The other roosters were chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing. The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover. But to Farmer John’s amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn’t ring. He’d sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one. John was so proud of old Butch, he entered him in the Renfrew County Fair and he became an overnight sensation among the judges.

The result… The judges not only awarded old Butch the No Bell Piece Prize but they also awarded him the Pulletsurprise as well. Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making: who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most highly coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the populace and screwing them when they weren’t paying attention.”