Mitch Hedberg

So, I was cleaning out some files I have lying around and found this list of Mitch Hedberg quotes that I stole from someone’s blog last year… I’ve posted them in my Articles section, but here are a few for your enjoyment:

“I bought a doughnut and they gave me a receipt for the doughnut. I don’t need a receipt for the doughnut. I give you money and you give me the doughnut, end of transaction. We don’t need to bring ink and paper into this. I can’t imagine a scenario that I would have to prove that I bought a doughnut. To some skeptical friend, Don?t even act like I didn?t buy a doughnut, I’ve got the documentation right here. It’s in my file at home. Under ‘D.'”

“An escalator can never break. It can only become stairs. You would never see an ‘Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order’ sign, just ‘Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience.'”

“I think Bigfoot is blurry, that?s the problem. There?s a large out-of-focus monster roaming the countryside.”