“The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.”
— Alfred Hitchcock
I’ve got a test on Monday…seeing “M:I:3” on Monday or Tuesday night, I think… It’s 126 min long…hopefully my bladder can take it…
Truthiness…
“Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed – Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn’t drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, ‘It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.'”
— Anonymous
Courtesy of a quote Kristen found in London…and there is wisdom in it…oh yes…
Mitch Hedberg
So, I was cleaning out some files I have lying around and found this list of Mitch Hedberg quotes that I stole from someone’s blog last year… I’ve posted them in my Articles section, but here are a few for your enjoyment:
“I bought a doughnut and they gave me a receipt for the doughnut. I don’t need a receipt for the doughnut. I give you money and you give me the doughnut, end of transaction. We don’t need to bring ink and paper into this. I can’t imagine a scenario that I would have to prove that I bought a doughnut. To some skeptical friend, Don?t even act like I didn?t buy a doughnut, I’ve got the documentation right here. It’s in my file at home. Under ‘D.'”
“An escalator can never break. It can only become stairs. You would never see an ‘Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order’ sign, just ‘Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience.'”
“I think Bigfoot is blurry, that?s the problem. There?s a large out-of-focus monster roaming the countryside.”
End-of-the-year Quotes
Here are some good quotes from people who passed away this year, published in TIME Magazine, dated January 2, 2006:
“I wasn’t tired physically, or no more tired than I usually was at the end of a working day… No, the only tired I was, was tired of giving in.”
— Rosa Parks
“I live in racist America and I’m uneducated, yet a lot of people love me and like what I do, and I can make a living from it. You can’t do much better than that.”
— Richard Pryor
“The theater is so endlessly fascinating because it’s so accidental. It’s so much like life.”
— Arthur Miller
“I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence or insanity to anyone, but they’ve always worked for me.”
— Hunter S. Thompson
“If it doesn’t fit, you must acquit.”
— Johnnie Cochran
“The military don’t start wars. Politicians start wars.”
— Gen. William Westmoreland
“I’m not a slave to objectivity, because I’m never quite sure what it means. It means different things to different people.”
— Peter Jennings