The first trailer I saw for “G.I. Joe: Rise of the Cobra” worried me greatly. In no way did it resemble the popular 80s cartoon of my childhood, and contained largely B-level actors and special effects.
For the most part, my initial assessment was correct.
The movie centers on the origins of the characters we know from the show, including Duke and Ripcord. At this point, Cobra, as an organization, doesn’t exist yet, but its leader(s) (specifically, Destro) are just getting started. A few old favorites, including General Hawk, Scarlett, and my personal favorite, Snake-Eyes, make their respective appearances early on, as you would generally expect: the Joes come in and save Duke and Rip Cord from the Baroness and Storm Shadow, then take them into their organization and train them to be the elite fighters they should be (wait…isn’t that how it happened in “X-Men?” …yup…)
The effects in the trailer looked terrible and, generally, they didn’t improve at all in the full feature film. There were definitely some cool sequences and transitions put in there, but a few extra effects dollars would have gone a long way to make it the spectacle it was trying to be. While they were at it, they should have tried actually spending some money on actors. Dennis Quaid (General Hawk) was barely a player (and wasn’t particularly good), and Christopher Eccleston (Destro) was wasted. Sienna Miller (The Baroness) did the best job of them all, in my opinion, but the guy they chose to play Duke was pretty horrible…and he’s the focus of the whole movie… Joseph Gordon-Levitt also makes an appearance, as well as Brendan Fraser…randomly…
There weren’t as many terrible one-liners in it as I would have expected, thankfully. There were actually a few funny moments, especially with the addition of Marlon Wayans (Ripcord) providing a little levity. Your trademarked “knowing is half the battle” was definitely in there as well, delivered by Dennis Quaid…and no, he wasn’t talking about staying off drugs… For the most part, however, the script and plot, as a whole, was derivative and cliche. Then again, it’s a movie based on a 1980s cartoon put out to sell toys…much like another franchise I know (that did it better).
That all said, it wasn’t as bad as it could be. Again, some of those action sequences were actually pretty sweet, but some extra money to make them truly top notch would have been welcome. While the acting was very, very bad overall, I didn’t really expect it to be good in the first place, so whatever…not a big loss…
Anyway, certainly not the best movie I’ve seen this summer, but I thought it would be a lot worse. I probably won’t be picking up the DVD, but I’m glad I saw it.